This summer brought a significant change in my life as I lost my mother and took on a new role as my older brother’s primary caregiver. Balancing this responsibility while creating a harmonious living environment for two middle-aged, neurodivergent siblings has its complexities.
My brother, Stuart, who is autistic and a left-brain stem stroke survivor, requires specialized care due to his physical and emotional needs. From handfeeding assistance to wheelchair-to-commode transfers and emotional sensitivity to loud sounds, caring for Stuart is a multifaceted task.
Reflecting on our childhood, I recall moments when Stuart’s behaviors, such as introversion, stimming, and talking to himself, led to misunderstandings and embarrassment, like when a classmate once questioned his mental state. Despite these challenges, our bond has grown stronger over the years.
Navigating my own neurodivergent traits, like ADHD, alongside Stuart’s needs has taught me valuable lessons in empathy and communication. By minimizing triggers and adapting my behaviors, I strive to create a supportive and understanding environment for both of us.
While societal perceptions and lack of support systems posed challenges in the past, our current living arrangement encourages mutual respect and active participation in decision-making. Sacrificing personal pursuits for Stuart’s well-being is a small price to pay for the profound connection we share.
Our journey as non-neurotypical siblings navigating life together is a testament to resilience and growth. Embracing this second chance to be a better sibling, I am committed to fostering a fulfilling and supportive environment for us both.
